Tag: Germany

To The Right Of The Noodles The Cute Left Rear Door Of The Mini (And That’s What She Said)

It's been another busy worst-day, dear worst-reader. It started with early day chores having something to do with goodies for evening grub consumption. The joke is always on me, though. Reason? I'm the one that has to prepare the evening grub. And I'm no good at getting the grub. But at least I can cook … Continue reading To The Right Of The Noodles The Cute Left Rear Door Of The Mini (And That’s What She Said) →

When Your Creek Finally Becomes A River Paint Your Car Ridiculous Or Dig It Out

The Rhine is swelling, dear worst-reader. Even though we're not having the bomb-cyclon winter storm that my beloved east coast #americant is having, the weather in old Germania plays strange all the same. Check out how close the river is to the tree top and the dike in the pic above. The vehicle almost buried … Continue reading When Your Creek Finally Becomes A River Paint Your Car Ridiculous Or Dig It Out →

Sous-Vide Goose With Asian Rub Will Be Served In 22 Hours With Chinese Dumplings And Red Cabbage

Nine month old Goose vacuum packed and in bath water of 65 degrees celsius (ca 150f). Also known as Sous-Vide. Before dig-in will place bird on the Weber grill for about 20-30 minutes to get it crispy. The Chinese dumplings to go with it are supposed to have a filling made out of the innards … Continue reading Sous-Vide Goose With Asian Rub Will Be Served In 22 Hours With Chinese Dumplings And Red Cabbage →

Roadkill And Other Forms Of Scaring Ausländer Out Of Germania

The horse in the pic above literally asked me, albeit in German, to leave his country. The fish in the moat around some #eurowasteland baroque castle said nothing. The flying rat reminded me of the story I'm about to tell. And the headless mouse reminded me of all those in my beloved #americant that got … Continue reading Roadkill And Other Forms Of Scaring Ausländer Out Of Germania →

My Grandfather Served In WW2 On The Losing Side

https://twitter.com/attn/status/898328098529083394 “Growing up, I was surrounded by broken men ― men who came home from the war filled with shrapnel and guilt. Men who were misled into a losing ideology. ...  And right now they’re resting in hell.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger My grandfather was in the German Navy in WW2. I'll never forget him telling me … Continue reading My Grandfather Served In WW2 On The Losing Side →

A Grave Not Quite Mine (Yet) But I Like Shopping Around All The Same

So. Like. I'm riding my bike around a god-knows-where northern Germania vacation village. On the one side of me I've got the Baltic Sea and Denmark and on the other side hellacious church bells ringing as though there's no tomorrow. So I turn the corner and approach the bells that are thundering and the first … Continue reading A Grave Not Quite Mine (Yet) But I Like Shopping Around All The Same →

Hit By A Van Almost Down By The River And It Was Obviously My Fault. #Hooray!

What an exciting afternoon in good ole Germania. Have I volunteered, dear worst-reader, what I actually think about my expat host country? Well, there's no time like the present to NOT volunteer such things. With that in mind, I was hit by a van today while riding my new über e-bike through the city. As … Continue reading Hit By A Van Almost Down By The River And It Was Obviously My Fault. #Hooray! →

Angry Men + Cheating Wives = Sloppy Tree Choppers

I take this snapshot while walking in the park and then ask my better-half why someone would cut down a fledgling tree--where w/out special government permission it's illegal to cut down trees--and then spray-paint "Hurensohn" (son-of-a-whore) on it. She turned to me as she often does with half a cynical wink in her left eye. It's … Continue reading Angry Men + Cheating Wives = Sloppy Tree Choppers →

Exercise In Translation: Is #Germany Bad Or Evil And What To Do If Someone Wants Both?

https://youtu.be/sKByqtthACo Go 'head, dear worst-reader. Ask me. Ask me if I care how many German cars are sold in my grand and beloved united mistakes. Indeed. I don't care. All I know is this: I've been driving Audis (in Germany, on German Autobahns) for most of the time I've been an expat. FYI, I've also been … Continue reading Exercise In Translation: Is #Germany Bad Or Evil And What To Do If Someone Wants Both? →

Never Unknow: There’s Always Someone Watching When You Pee Or Fighting The Collective You Didn’t Know You Joined

Update: holly-krapp-olly! I've since been informed that I seriously broke the law pissing on/near a German water plant the other day. If I would have been caught by a German policeman (instead of one of the policeman-in-a-policeman-in-a-policeman that make up Das Volk) I would be facing a heavy fine and possible jail time. Which means, I guess, … Continue reading Never Unknow: There’s Always Someone Watching When You Pee Or Fighting The Collective You Didn’t Know You Joined →

Excercise(s) In Translation: A Schlampe Is Not A Bitch. Or Is She?

There are moments, dear worst-reader, where I love the German language. There are also moments when I don't love it. But that's not what this worst-post is about. Even though I've given up studying the language--because I reached a point many years ago where I not only would dream in it but I achieved such advanced forsight … Continue reading Excercise(s) In Translation: A Schlampe Is Not A Bitch. Or Is She? →

Who Hates Who Most Or How To Compare Hairdos Between #Merkel, #Trump and #Putin

It was a good press conference, I'm sure Trump would say. But then again, what else can he say? I mean, come on, dear worst-reader. Have you actually listened to him talk? He talks like... a butthole from a rejected William Burroughs novel Cousin ITT from The Munsters (after he finally got a hair cut) … Continue reading Who Hates Who Most Or How To Compare Hairdos Between #Merkel, #Trump and #Putin →