Moments I recall that are all--must be?--part of today's #americant opioid problem galore (see links below). The funny thing about this little list of recollections is that all the parties involved had something to do with Vegas. ...I think. Moment #1 While drinking a beer and waiting for an international flight at PHL a few … Continue reading Random Moments Of Consumption Galore Or How To Get Your Kicks While On Route To 666
Category: Blog
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It’s A Good Thing I’m Not Draining The Swamp Because I’d Start With Those T-Shirts that Say: FBI – Female Body Investigator
No. Seriously. I bet if you did some kind of whacked-out empirical study--you know the stuff college grads can't do anymore--because if they could they wouldn't have gotten the world into the neo-liberal krapp-shoot it's become--then you would know for sure what purpose a government organisation like the FBI really serves. It's funny too how … Continue reading It’s A Good Thing I’m Not Draining The Swamp Because I’d Start With Those T-Shirts that Say: FBI – Female Body Investigator
Half Century Knee And The Slight Bump Of A Car Upon It
Got hit by van the other day. Can you believe it? The know-it-alls say that that line of distortion in the X-ray could (could!) be a tibial plateau fracture. Yea. The van hit my left knee. Cool! Update: It's not a fracture. Whoopi. And get this, I get to get my first MRI so they … Continue reading Half Century Knee And The Slight Bump Of A Car Upon It
Hit By A Van Almost Down By The River And It Was Obviously My Fault. #Hooray!
What an exciting afternoon in good ole Germania. Have I volunteered, dear worst-reader, what I actually think about my expat host country? Well, there's no time like the present to NOT volunteer such things. With that in mind, I was hit by a van today while riding my new über e-bike through the city. As … Continue reading Hit By A Van Almost Down By The River And It Was Obviously My Fault. #Hooray!
Rats Chasing Luv Or Am I Cool To The Secret Police?
Pseudo Review #2: 1000KM On The Charger GX Touring Or How To Spend Stupid Money Smartly (I Hope)
Part 1 of this pseudo-review is here. Part three is here. Update: day after worst-writing this I was on my über e-bike and got hit by a van. But it was my fault, I guess. Summary: Heavy bike that feels light due to motor and balance. Although GX tires are loud on the road, they are … Continue reading Pseudo Review #2: 1000KM On The Charger GX Touring Or How To Spend Stupid Money Smartly (I Hope)
Green Green Green And More Green
There's too much green in Germany. But I think I've worst-said that before. Ranting onward, ho!
Exercise In Translation: F-Word In German Not A Type Of Insect
Translating the German f-word and feeling some cumuppance. And so. Another example of living-the-dream in #eurowasteland with Margo Honecker's Germania-galore protege Merkel and the aristocrats with all the inherited money that afford us park benches. Or maybe not. Ranting onwards.
Germany And Why #Trump And His Ilk Hate That
This is just a list (bullets followed by minor worst-explanations) I've been putting together in my head since reading that #Trump thinks Germany is bad, bad, real bad. I guess, in a way, I'm kinda jealous of Trump--you know, his bullhorn is so much louder than mine. Still, that's why the tech-gods gave us all the … Continue reading Germany And Why #Trump And His Ilk Hate That
Angry Men + Cheating Wives = Sloppy Tree Choppers
I take this snapshot while walking in the park and then ask my better-half why someone would cut down a fledgling tree--where w/out special government permission it's illegal to cut down trees--and then spray-paint "Hurensohn" (son-of-a-whore) on it. She turned to me as she often does with half a cynical wink in her left eye. It's … Continue reading Angry Men + Cheating Wives = Sloppy Tree Choppers
Exercise In Translation: Is #Germany Bad Or Evil And What To Do If Someone Wants Both?
https://youtu.be/sKByqtthACo Go 'head, dear worst-reader. Ask me. Ask me if I care how many German cars are sold in my grand and beloved united mistakes. Indeed. I don't care. All I know is this: I've been driving Audis (in Germany, on German Autobahns) for most of the time I've been an expat. FYI, I've also been … Continue reading Exercise In Translation: Is #Germany Bad Or Evil And What To Do If Someone Wants Both?
Never Unknow: There’s Always Someone Watching When You Pee Or Fighting The Collective You Didn’t Know You Joined
Update: holly-krapp-olly! I've since been informed that I seriously broke the law pissing on/near a German water plant the other day. If I would have been caught by a German policeman (instead of one of the policeman-in-a-policeman-in-a-policeman that make up Das Volk) I would be facing a heavy fine and possible jail time. Which means, I guess, … Continue reading Never Unknow: There’s Always Someone Watching When You Pee Or Fighting The Collective You Didn’t Know You Joined
Conspiratorial Death Of The Eurasian Magpie That Brought Down My Cessna
No. Seriously. I had this wild pre-dawn dream. I was in PHL with my wife. We were working together on an American TV show that had a deadline. I had to take a Cessna plane to MD in order to solve a problem in the TV show's script. On the trip back to PHL the Cessna … Continue reading Conspiratorial Death Of The Eurasian Magpie That Brought Down My Cessna
A Sign For The Now, The Future And, Of Course, Profitable Ice Cream
Since I'm on a roll with translating today, here's one more. Saw this truck this morning while walking Beckett, the Killer Pug, and couldn't help but think of reality. So I snapped this pic. Indeed. Berufswunsch: Eiswagenfahrer. Translation: globalisation means that kids don't need school but instead a driver's license and maybe a few phonebooks … Continue reading A Sign For The Now, The Future And, Of Course, Profitable Ice Cream
Excercise(s) In Translation: A Schlampe Is Not A Bitch. Or Is She?
There are moments, dear worst-reader, where I love the German language. There are also moments when I don't love it. But that's not what this worst-post is about. Even though I've given up studying the language--because I reached a point many years ago where I not only would dream in it but I achieved such advanced forsight … Continue reading Excercise(s) In Translation: A Schlampe Is Not A Bitch. Or Is She?
Curious As To What Things Are, Have Been, Could Be
Photographed on a street somewhere in India. I have no idear what it is. Could it be one of them seed pods from Body Snatchers? Or perhaps it's a leather case that houses the ersatz medication of an attempt to eugenically--or do I mean sexually--enhance an Ogre.
Fehler Fehler (Error x 2?)
Technology at its best. Or maybe not. Wondering if Aldi-Talk (my lazy answer to rebelling against big German motherfcuker telecoms) has been infected by wcry. Serves them all right. Go hackers. Go luddites (who need a iPhone to get chicks). Or... No one wants my money. Rant on. -t
Upchucking Cherry Wizard Ants
The Macabre And Bad Moods
In Bangelore during our stint there last year I noticed two things. You can only find green grass where wealth lives. For some reason that green grass might be hostile to the natural order of things. Or. Maybe a cat got to this bird. Rant on. t
Who You Pay When The Customs Agent Comes With Rhino Horn Powder
Having a bad day. This is a NSFW post. No. Seriously, dear worst-reader. Just a few moments ago I almost got into a fist fight with a German customs agent. Ok, well, maybe not a fist fight. So let me set this up. Taking Beckett, the killer pug, for his afternoon waste-my-time walk, we come … Continue reading Who You Pay When The Customs Agent Comes With Rhino Horn Powder
Time To Celebrate Europe With French Vote? Not. Time For Some Lily Livered Lefties.
What has #eurowasteland done for you lately, dear worst-reader? Well, the answer is simple. Nothing. Or. Put another way. At least it hasn't given us another fcuking world war. It behooves me to say something about recent farcical election in France--that so many are comparing to the recent farcical election of my beloved #americant but because … Continue reading Time To Celebrate Europe With French Vote? Not. Time For Some Lily Livered Lefties.
Dog Walks, Side Walks And Mouse Halfs
Not quite sure. But I am sure that this photo will join the rest of my collection of worst-photos. Should've taken better care with the photo. When I took the shot it was clearly the remaining half of a rodent that got the attention of Beckett, the killer pug, while we are on his morning walk. … Continue reading Dog Walks, Side Walks And Mouse Halfs
Since You’ve Already Forgotten Everything You Never Knew…
I'm seriously trying not to pay attention to all the BS that's going on with #Trump right now. But it's hard, you know what I'm worst-saying, dear worst-reader? It's hard because my best guess tells me that #Trump is a frickin genius. Forget all the firings, the crazy tweets, the whacky press briefings by that … Continue reading Since You’ve Already Forgotten Everything You Never Knew…
So Glad Those Dating Days Are Over Or Need A New Phone Case?
I suppose this would work well as Bill O'Reilly gift, too. Rant on. -t
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