Tag: Dysfunction

  • Purchase Your Repurchase Purchase

    Boy do I feel bad for all those wannabee corporate suckers who believed what was said after HuffPost was purchased by AOL and the Greek-Mother cashed out. Any idear what they said, dear worst-reader? Let me give you a hint. They said: “you’re jobs are gonna be fine.” And now? (Short pause; breath.) Even though I’m avid reader of this news aggregation service, I won’t miss it when Verizon breaks it up. Or am I busting anyone’s bubble out there? Good luck suckers. Rant on. -t

    Source: What Will Verizon’s $4.4 Billion Cash Purchase of AOL Mean for The Huffington Post? – Truthdig

  • The TPP Miracle

    No. Seriously. If you thought you were screwed before,  you know, screwed by the lie of the open market, the economy or corporations wait till the near future lays its greedy paws in your starving lap. Anyone remember NAFTA? Well, if you feel as though you never could get that job or career that you were hoping for (yours truly) or if you know for a fact that you won’t have the comforts you parents have (yours truly again) or if you’re kinda angry that #americant can’t produce anything anymore because it can only assemble stuff (Ha, Ha, Ha), you can thank NAFTA for it. But I’m off subject. ¶Just the other day while walking around some Eurowasteland city with my seventeen year old son, I stopped in the market square to gaze at the TTIP protests. For you see, dear worst-reader, TTIP is the Euro version of TPP. Both are extended and steroid laden versions of NAFTA. The truly astonishing thing about these trade agreements is 1) they are not trade agreements they are instead treaties and 2) there is no better example today of how government and corporations collude in order to undermine the common good (if there even is such a thing). BTW, what’s the difference between a treaty and a trade agreement? That this stuff is being sold to you/us as trade agreements is astonishing enough. These are treaties and treaties are much more serious. Aren’t they? But, again, I’m off subject. ¶That the US President is currently shuffling his jubblies in order to get fast track authority to push through TPP should be the alarm bell heard around the world. But corporations–who own everything–especially the media–have kept the whole shebang under most radars. So when I stood there watching and listening to old Eurowastelanders trying to convince people, i.e. society, of the fate that beholds them/us I thought about my son and whether he too will grow old in an age where disappointment and bitterness are the only trades learned.  But then again, after a double-take of all those old people wasting their time protesting something that should have been protested years ago but wasn’t because they/we were all convinced that consuming krapp had no ramifications, I looked again at my beautiful boy and the glow of hope and innocence that surrounds him like a mystical cocoon. I’ve tried to prepare him for the krappy future that my generation and my parent’s generation have left him. I’ve told him about the frivolity of higher education and how it doesn’t serve higher learning. I’ve told him that what he needs for the future is the will to survive thereby not getting caught up in the transaction-lie that is love and simply finding something he likes doing and keep doing it till the cows come runnin‘. Or something like that. Nomatter. If you’re born of the age of the millennials you might have a chance for a future as the ruining boomer generation comes to an end. Good luck suckers. Rant on. -Tommi

    San Francisco Opposes TPP Fast Track in New Resolution | Electronic Frontier Foundation.

    Since When Does El Presidenté Need Fast Track Authority For US Corpos? | NYT

    TPP Gutting Laws | Politico

    NAFTA | Wiki

    Fast Track Authority | Wiki

    The Eurowasteland Version Is TTIP | Stop TTIP

  • Uber Mittelstand

    german mittelstand in the way.png

    Two things today. One. I hate taxis. Two. As I said here and much worst here, the Germanian concept of Mittelstand is a misnomer. That is, it doesn’t mean what you think it means. The Germanians and those that preach it think the word Mittelstand refers to the small and medium enterprises that supply big industry with both parts and labor. This is inherently untrue. What Mittelstand really means is that there is something that blocks the way. Seriously. It means something like a wall or an impassable object or a guard-rail, a fence, a fat man stuffing his face with sauerkraut standing in the middle of an open Autobahn all because he feels ripped-off that his nation-state doesn’t give him more welfare or government subsidy, etc. In other words, Mittelstand is a barrier. It is a barrier that protects one side of the (life) equation from the other side. It protects the future form the present. It protects the past from the future. It stands in the middle and stops everything that it can’t or doesn’t want to understand. In fact, Mittelstand can be a person or a group of people. It can even be a part of a society. Hence, in Germania, probably the world’s best producer of mass high-end products and technical services, there is no innovation there is only a capitalist version of a Big Brother-like being–standing in the middle making sure that… You shall not pass! Indeed. Mittelstand… middle-man (or the like). Good thing it doesn’t really matter what it’s called. ¶Which brings me to taxis. Did I mention I hate them? In fact, whenever I travel, like most recently to Paris, I will avoid as though they carry the plague, taxis. But sometimes, to my regret–and this I blame on the convenience factor of life that one expects in middle-age because of monetary liquidity–I have no choice but to take a taxi. Or. Let me put that another way. My better half didn’t want to take my preferred form of transport upon arrival at Gare Du Nord, public transport. Seriously. I love public transportation, especially in cities like Paris, London, Berlin, NYC. If I could, if the circumstances warranted it, I would give up not only owning a car but I’d give up my friggin’ automobile driver’s licenses–which I have for two countries. The mess that is modern day traffic astonishes me because it represents the best of inhumanity and the behaviour that will be all we leave history. ¶Enter Uber and my worst-thought of the day, dear worst-reader. When I first heard of Uber I thought: Ok, why didn’t I think of that. Then I got the app, started fiddling around with it and, well, as of most recent travel, I still haven’t used it. All I’ve done is heard/read about it. And I’ve concluded: I still hate taxis and Uber is a taxis service. Of course, I don’t hate Uber in the way I hate Parisian taxis. Just recently, when we were in hurry because of some last minute shopping or something, we spontaneously grabbed a taxi to take us to the train station. The typical taxi bullshit ensued. “Oh that’s too short a trip.” “Let me call you another taxi.” “Sir (taxi driver), you’re going the wrong way and I’m not paying you for this detour.” “Sir (taxi driver), would you please take the fastest route to our destination.” Etc., etc. ¶So here’s what Uber does that potentially could make me not hate taxis anymore. It literally gets rid of the Mittelstand bullshit that is a/the sickness of (a) society. And that’s ok. But here’s what makes me angry at worst, skeptical at best about Uber. The taxi industry is probably one of the best examples out there of how government regulation could actually be a positive part of capitalism. Simply put, the taxi industry is heavily regulated in most western countries. It is not heavily regulated because capitalist-pigs got their hoofs in it and want to turn it into a yacht financing arm of whatever else said pigs do. No. It is regulated because (1) it has long since been proven to be a legitimate form of public transportation. (2) Prior to being recognised as a public utility people were being randomly killed by shear negligence. Hence, the day is coming when Uber is going to be called out for its negligence. But with that last statement I make no predictions. ¶Which brings me to the following question: Obviously Uber is something that people want but what is it that they are getting? To worst-moi, Uber is for the first time the best example out there of how technology can also be part of regress and not progress. Uber is employing wild-west tactics disguised as a modern technology service. And people are falling for it. And don’t get me wrong here. That doesn’t mean, I’m against Uber and I’m most certainly not against technology. I’m sure, eventually, I’ll try Uber but I won’t try it because I’m against old school taxis services. I just hate old school drivers and the bullshit they bring to their jobs. But I digress. Rant on. -Tommi

    Germany bans Uber once again over permit issues | Engadget

    A Historical Argument Against Uber | Time

    Mittelstand | Wiki

  • In God We Post

    banned from the verge.png

    It’s time to come clean. I sometimes feel obliged whenever I read an article on the Interwebnets to comment on that article. It’s a human thing to do–it’s one of the reasons there is the Interwebnet. And worstwriter is definitely full of comments. In fact, I started blogging and subsequently learned how to host my own blog because IMHO websites who allow users to interact, usually in the form of comments, do not own my comments. This is especially true for sites like amazon. It’s hard for me to understand how so many people who sometimes write great reviews of books allow their writing to be wasted because they give it to amazon for nothing in return. Of course, if one reads the sites’ user guidelines it becomes clear that that site assumes ownership of your comments, which, again, IMHO, should be illegal. Now don’t get me wrong here. Of course there needs to be guidelines for users and how they interact with sites. Worstwriter need not address the bad behaviour plaguing the Interwebnet. But that in no way means that a site can automatically assume “rights” over my text. And so. I follow a sites’ user guidelines to the T, I never spam a site nor do I use profanity. What I do though is write only a brief summary of my comment which is then linked back to the full comment on my site. Hence, I have a Book category where all my book reviews are posted. So it goes without saying, I guess, that amazon does not tolerate my linking of book reviews to my site. Indeed. Sadly this corpo behavior doesn’t stop with a rinky-dink book seller. Just look at what is required to post comments on the NYT website. I still haven’t figured out how to comment on Slate. And what about The Verge? Oh yeah, those guys. I just got a message that I have been banned from The Verge because I “promote” my own website where my … MY comments are posted in full. Wow! I’m sure The Verge can afford to lose readers. But I digress.

    Rant on.

    -T

  • Democracy Abortion

    It never ceases to amaze (worst-moi), dear worst-reader. Examples abound in my grand and well-missed united mistakes. Sometimes finding them, though, can be difficult. That is, finding the mistakes that really stand out. Well–today we have a doozy. But is it a mistake? Here’s how it goes: in the great state of NH someone had the idear to allow fourth graders to see first hand how the legislative process works. This entailed drafting a bill that would be put up in the legislation for a vote. What the bill was about doesn’t matter–since it was put up by fourth graders. But here’s the thing. One of the many nutbag, batshit politicians that make up most state legislatures got up to say something about the bill. And what did he say? Of course this is what he said–because he is a nutbag, batshit politician. He said… Abortion. He said it in the face of fourth graders trying to learn a little civics. Indeed. The bill put forth by fourth graders was about making a bird a state emblem. But the nutbag, batshit politician saw it as an opportunity to turn it into a platform whereby he can promote his anti-abortion agenda. He even took the time to compare the bird that was being considered, which happens to be a raptor (a hunter), to being the same thing as an abortion. You know, a bird with claws and a sharp beak tears and rips its prey to pieces in order to eat it. And that’s the same as ripping a zygote, embryo or foetus from a womb. Right? Yeah. And. As usual. Only in #americant, baby. Good luck suckers. -t

    New Hampshire Fourth-Graders Learn Vital Lesson In Cynicism From State Legislature.

  • Herr Cheap Customer

    When do you know when you miss something? I assure you, dear worst-reader, you do not know you miss something when you no longer have it. Consumerism has raised me and I’ve learned to live with that. But there are things that become part of life even if they stem out of the triviality of consumerism. And so. This isn’t about not having access to all the colours of lego blocks. This is about the inalienable. Sell me your computers and tablets, smart phones and networking devices. I’ve proven I’ll buy them. When the profits from my purchase make you rich hold tight to your future. I want no part of you as long as you keep (you) to yourself. Stay in your golden cage of greed-monger and lust-lies. And look below you as we, the meek, traverse this/your world going about our bidness. It was proven long ago that the automobile didn’t just replace the horse & buggy. Instead. The car proved that mass mobility was/is something that we can not live without. Is that then by definition inalienable? Should there be roads even though nothing dictates GM make them? Oh. Inalienable. Let’s see.

    inalienable
    ɪnˈeɪlɪənəb(ə)l
    adjective
    not subject to being taken away from or given away by the possessor

    Well, it happened to me. Not only did I buy a car where there are no roads but that car was delivered to me without wheels. What to do, eh? Reconsider? Move abroad? (Well, I guess I did that already.) It’s just that, when they take something away from you that is (should be) inalienable, how does that effect you? I know. Too many unanswered questions. Like where did that Malaysian plane go? And when I tried to work with the powers-that-be to get back what should be inalienable, this is all I got. A bunch of messages telling me to wait my turn because–just because–even though I’m a paying customer it doesn’t matter that I don’t get what I pay for. Your inalienable is directed by someone else, Dr. Sucker. Nomatter.

    Below the daily bombardment of incompetence. Is it overwhelming? To think that this world could be annihilated by nuclear war really should pale compared to the level of ignorance that works and runs all the corporations of the world. Remember: all corporations are filled with automatons that believe they are where they are because of merit. Yet, who asks the question regarding the differences between having studied this or that or gotten an A or a D which then determines your position in life? For you see, dear worst-reader, this is how THEY get you. You actually believe that there is a difference between an A and a D as handed out by professor/teacher so-n-so and that there is merit behind what you do. Yet, like taxes where government do take a bite, these corpos control everything that should not be controlled. It should simply be. But what am I saying? Yes. Worst-what? Worst-service galore.

    If you ever move to Germany and decide to get some Internet don’t use the company called 1&1. They really suck bat-balls. At least three times a year their service, out of the blue, just turns off and I’m stuck in nowhereland without Internet for days. When you call them to inquire as to why they aren’t holding up to their side of the bargain this all they can provided: NOTHING and a few SMSs that don’t make a bit of sense. Yeah. Five days without Internet is a bitch. And. Again. 1&1 sucks.

    Wow. I am so pissed-off that I could go nuclear on the people that work at this useless, piece of krapp company. And to think that in Germania, centralised economy Germania, one has to sign a multi-year contract with a company in order to get Internet, well, I guess I’ve said it once or twice in this blog: Germany is the last bastion of communism in the west. This country is run by the worst sort of bureaucrat there is. And that’s not the worst of it. Unlike other western countries, there is no alternative to be a bureaucrat in Germania. Even if you are a high-paid executive at Mercedes, Lufthansa, Siemens, you are nothing but a cog in the wheel of a centralised nation-state. You are where you are because you happened to be in the right place at the right time. A hundred people could do what you do yet you got some place in this wheel/cog. And the rest of us get BS like SMSs telling us to wait our turn while Big Brother takes care of everything.

    Did I mention I’m pissed? Did I mention that I hate centralised nation-states? Wow. This really sucks. But after five days of no service the cogs in the wheel gave me back my Internet connection. They gave me back my inalienable. And to them I still say: fuck you!

    SMSs from 1&1 Germany:

    (English translation: Dear cheap customer, we have received your service request regarding Internet outage. First. Sorry about that. Second. Wait your turn. Even though you have a contract with us that doesn’t mean we have to fulfil it. It only means you have to pay us. That’s what contracts are for in this pseudo social market communist state that you’ve been living in for the past twenty-five years. So just shut the fuck up and wait for us to turn your service back on when we’re ready. Your 1 & 1 team. Transaction # C520566445)


    Donnerstag: Sehr geehrte cheap customer, wir haben Ihre Störungsmeldung erhalten. Zur Terminabsprache oder bei Neuigkeiten informieren wir/unsere Partner Sie. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)


    Donnerstag: DSL funktioniert wieder. Hätte gern etwas Info über die Ursache dieses Problem. Bitte melden. Danke.


    Freitag: Sehr geehrte cheap customer, in Ihrem Anschlussbereich haben wir einen Ausfall festgestellt, von dem mehrere Kunden betroffen sind. Bitte haben Sie etwas Geduld, wir arbeiten bereits an einer Lösung. Vielen Dank für Ihr Verständnis. Ihre 1&1


    Samstag: Sehr geehrte(r) Kunde(in), aktuell bearbeiten wir Ihre gemeldete DSL-Störung. Wir kontaktieren Sie umgehend, sobald wir neue Informationen für Sie haben. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)


    Sonntag: Sehr geehrte(r) Kunde(in), wir arbeiten weiterhin mit Hochdruck an der Entstörung Ihres 1&1 DSL-Anschlusses. Wir informieren Sie erneut, sobald wir Neuigkeiten für Sie haben. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)


    Montag: Sehr geehrte(r) Kunde(in), wir arbeiten weiterhin vorrangig an der Entstörung Ihres DSL-Anschlusses. Bitte entschuldigen Sie die Verzögerung. Wir kontaktieren Sie erneut, sobald wir Neuigkeiten für Sie haben. Ihre 1&1 (Vorgangsnummer C520566445)

    Rant on. -tommi

  • Über Reaction Sloth

    The new Clinton scandal is winding down, dear worst-reader. (Sarcasm on.) Are you as disappointed as I how this has turned out? I mean, if you’re a republican and/or US government hater, then this has to be a disappointment on a grand scale. Or? (Sarcasm almost off.) Nomatter. I’m sure the ideological nut-bags that have turned #americant politics into the freak show it has become by seeking scandal for political gain will find something new soon enough. Until then, of course, let’s continue to worst-write about this scandal because it’s about Hillary just like we did here and here and thereby hope that the end is neigh or not. First. Below are the articles that in part motivated this post. Second. The other part that motivated this post is/was trying to find a comparison between what supposedly Hillary Clinton had done and how others might have done something similar. I mean, come on, this scandal does smell familiar, doesn’t it? Highly classified government information, although not leaked, might be leaked–(sarcasm still on)–in an alternate universe and someone needs to pay for their heresy… I mean disloyalty… I mean treason. Full stop. Breath. ¶There isn’t all that much originality in scandal hunting these days, dear worst-reader. But if you look you will find. For example. While considering the idear that Hillary Clinton was running her own email server while Secretary of State, which isn’t necessarily and insecure thing to do, has there been any other example of government insecurity run amok? Gee. I don’t know. How ’bout Edward Snowden? No? I guess the US has dealt with him by forcing him into exile–in Russia. (Stop me from laughing, please.) Wait. No. Snowden ain’t good enough. Thank goodness there’s something much better than Edward Snowden when it comes to comparing Hillary’s evil deed to other perpetrators. Yeah. ¶The real comparison is with former Army commander turned head of the CIA David Petraeus. Smell the hypocrisy yet? For all practical purpose, Petraeus was literally caught with his pants down. The man handed over passwords to his CIA email account to his hot-body biographer with whom he also had an affair. And for doing that, what will happen to him? Will he be persecuted in the media? No. Will he be sent hate email and hate tweets? No. Will there be a huge hoopla over his congressional subpoenas? No. Will he be called a bitch? Of course not. Just regular media coverage about how the man is actually a hero and how he served his country well but has fallen from grace. Well. I worst-guess that’s what life is all about when you’re part of an alternate universe. Either that or you get a slap on the hand and go ’bout your bidness. ¶But. Yet. What if you’re Hillary Rodham Clinton? What happens then (other than evil tweets and being called a bitch)? I mean. Seriously. Consider it. David Petraeus has been found guilty of a federal crime because he made highly classified information available while his zipper was down. The man’s not even going to jail. And what will happen to Hillary Clinton–who hasn’t actually broken any laws or given out any highly classified material? Yeah, baby. American hypocrisy at his best. But I digress. Rant on. -Tommi

    Links of potential interest:

    Why Clinton’s Private Email Server Was Such a Security Fail | WIRED.

    House Committee Subpoenas Clinton Emails In Benghazi Probe | AP

    Double Standard On Government Secrets | LA Times

    America’s Injustice Nightmare Between Petraeus And Ferguson | Salon

    Petraeus Reaches Plea Deal Over Giving Classified Data To His Lover | NYT

  • Female Quota

    I know. It’s not right of me to go around (these Interwebnets) claiming I’ve been able to semi-retire before fifty all on my own. I’ve had a little help in this deed in the form of my better half. Although we both agreed that she wouldn’t be my benefactor, since I still pursue worst-writing as a career (especially as a worst ghost writer), she certainly does make my other pseudo keep-me-busy careers worthwhile. That’s right, dear worst-reader. I’m not only a semi-retired (from working for the man!) worst-(ghost-)writer but, as supplement to this life of pseudo-luxury, I’m also a part-time luggage carrier, pug sitter and all-around husband-of-the-house. Where would my better half and moi be if I didn’t carry her luggage to all those wonderful destinations we travel to three or four times a year? Where would her pug be if I didn’t wipe the beasts nose and clean the snot out of its eyes three times a day? Still. That said. I truly believe that in order to solve ninety-nine percent of the world’s problems, all that must be done is to fully empower the human female so that the law protects her just as ignorance and force has protected males throughout history. But how would such a “law” be? Would it have to be a written, nation-state sanctioned law? Would it have to be a moral law–one that counters all the religious nut-baggery that we have today? Or should it be a law, mostly established by shaming men, that simply establishes a quota? Well, dear worst-reader, I suppose the answer to that can now be found in Germania. Indeed. In Germania, the place where intolerance is a well hidden core of society, the males that run the show think they have found the solution to centuries of wrong-doing. They have set a quota to help human females find some form of equality at the boardroom level of the corporate mega-state. Wow. That sounds so… unglaublich und fortgeschritten. Or maybe not. Good luck anyways, baby. Rant on. -t

    German parliament to vote on quotas for women on company boards | News | DW.DE | 06.03.2015.

  • Nitwits Killed By Fire

    Nice long weekend on Spanish island in the Med. Weather wasn’t the best but that doesn’t matter. We were able to get out from underneath the darkness of Germania for a at least a few hours. Fernweh, baby. And the air is fresher too. Speaking of fresh-air. Did you know that the US and most of Europe has terrible internet connectivity? No? I’m sure you knew that. But get this. There is hope. I was just on the Spanish island of Mallorca (Majorca) and not only did the hotel there have fantastic Internet, the whole island seemed to be in an Internet access frenzy. You could go almost anywhere on the island and connect to this provider who is putting wifi repeaters on house-tops, mountains, etc. Although it wasn’t always the best connection, the fact that they are doing this speaks for itself. The point is, the only other time I’ve felt so connected is at home using my shitty 16000mbps. (But I don’t want to complain too much about home because at least there are three other ISPs that offer the same shitty mbps.) But let me get back to the hotel where we stayed on the island. Once we checked-in we were given separate wifi access IDs for each device. It worked great. I was able to download podcasts, upload blog posts and even save a krapp load of money using messaging over TCP/IP instead of cellular. Wow! But none of that makes a who-ha-difference because some dip-shit corporatist in #americant has come out and appealed to the nitwits everywhere by making them think he’s on their side. Again. Wow! And so. How ’bout a bit of Tommi worst-interpretation of recent Net Neutrality ruling by the FCC? First. Tom Wheeler is a fool. Second. Those who think this “ruling” is a win for an open Interwebnet is a double fool. But this is exactly what happens when a nation of nitwits elect morons to public office who then appoint more morons to government agencies who adhere to the status quo of political conservatism based on the rhetoric of kill it with fire. This is also what happens when so much damage has already been done that to question that damage would mean also to question the entire system that enabled and facilitated it (the profitable damage). And so. How thick is the BS of Net Neutrality? Put simply: the recent FCC ruling on Net Neutrality is a smoke screen. The real issue is this: as long as Comcast can monopolise the last mile of Internet connectivity Net Neutrality and the corporatist FCC trying to regulate openness is fiction. Hence, just add more fiction to the fiction and krapp like “fastlanes” emerge. Why this issue has come to the forefront of the whole debate astonishes worst-moi even more. As long as Netflix’s costs of having to pay an ISP more money for bandwidth doesn’t trickle to the end user, I don’t care if there are fastlanes. So what’s the debate then about? People will get angry when they start seeing an increase in their interwebnet bill because Netflix is a friggin’ bandwidth hog? Or will Das Volk get pissed when they see an increase in Netflix costs because, well, Netflix has to pay Comcast more to stream movies? Btw, Netflix, Google (YouTube) and even Apple (iTunes) are already paying more to ISPs for bandwidth. Tom Wheeler represents corporate interests only. And that is the bottom line. He knows very well that the position cable companies and telecoms are in is where they’ve wanted to be from the get-go. The only thing this new FCC ruling does is say to ISPs that there is nothing left to monopolise. Put another way. In most of the US, which has shitty Internet to begin with, the last mile of data to your house is where the magic is. Until I have the choice of at least three competing ISPs via cable or at least three competing ISPs via ADSL/VDSL (phone lines), Net Neutrality and openness is a mute issue killed by fire. Wake up nitwits. Rant on. -Tommi

  • Conversation In The Mead Hall

    There is a horde of people all in the same place, all saying the same things, all wearing the same stuff, all eating equivalence, etc. Equivalence tastes good, btw. But there are also levels of good. More on that in a sec. For most this place of samethingeverything would be the ultimate collective paradise or perhaps utopia. For expats, like worst-moi, this is a German resort club. It is one of many resort clubs that fill the Fernweh need of Das Volk and also provide an adequate amount of entertainment that an otherwise diligent/assiduous/hardworking people could not get back home. This offering of relaxation-industry, btw, comes from the fact that Germans don’t really have a country where they can just kick back, pop open a can and head down to the local Disney World. No. Indeed. Germanin need to get out from underneath the machine of the country they have built. They need to expose their organs, a few times a year, to the other workings of this planet that isn’t about chemical factories, auto industry, Autobahn mismanagement, etc. And so. I feel obliged every so often to come to these artificial places that fulfill such a collective need so that I may sit in collective dinner halls, perhaps not unlike, as the Romans would have put it back in 67.5 B.C., with the teutonic barbarians of the past who did the same thing in their mead halls, and get me fill of–having gone native. Going native, btw, is a termed used by nationalists of whatever nation to describe expats who have turned, who have jumped ship, who have left the nest for another nest, etc. Going native is not as simple a concept as it once was, though. Back in the day, don’t you know, when Henry Miller did it, and before globalization turned the western world into a milling shop where most humans are scrap wood, going native meant just taking a wife from the country you went to. Ok. Maybe it also meant learning the language. But today, again, due to globalization, it can’t mean that anymore. For one thing, it can’t mean that because there are so many people that are forced to leave their countries because those countries have so perfectly commoditized opportunity. Yes. Good old-fashioned opportunity. What happened to it dear worst-reader? Did it leave me or did I leave it? Did it go to that great relaxation resort in the sky where “good” doesn’t have levels anymore? You know, where good is simply as good as it gets–because excellent just isn’t in the cards at this price category? Obviously I don’t know the answer to any of that. But I do know that good cooking at these Germanin resorts differs greatly and with this visit, in this little corner of a Spanish island, this level of good is hard to beat. I have completely fallen for the olives here. I can’t stop eating them. The oranges too. They’re both like fruits of the gods–compared to the stuff we can get back in Colonia. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know where to get good stuff. It’s always a drive or three away but get I can. Yet when we come to a place like this and all I want to do is eat the olives and devour the oranges… Nomatter. I have gone native and that’s ok. There is no turning back for me after this past quarter of a century. I have learned to live with my decisions. But something always happens when I’m exposed to those natives in an intensive way. Something clicks in me and suddenly everything in the dinner hall starts to turn, romp and rumble. 

    Conversations in the Germanin mead hall on a Spanish island in the Mediterranean while taking a quick, extended weekend from industrialized hell that is the Colonia Bay.

    Scene: Dinner (in the mead hall). Hundreds of real natives gather to fill their bellies with all-included chow and drink. There are no seat assignments so it’s come early, first serve. Who sits with you at these tables is left up to the Thor god or any other Germanic deity or the amount of seating made available. Two middle-aged women decide to join us after having broke the ice the day before at lunch in the same hall. One of the ladies brings a part of the newspaper she was reading before dinner. The article in the newspaper obviously caught her attention. Conversation ensues. 

    Germanin 1: I just finished this article.

    Tommi: What’s it about.

    Germanin 1: That guy who murdered a hundred people while he worked at a hospital.

    Tommi: Oh yeah. I heard about that guy. Why would he do something like that?

    Germanin 1: That’s the thing, isn’t it? Why would anyone do something like that? For the the heavens I do not know. But this reminds me of why people with any sort of power need to be checked. 

    Tommi: Power? He was a nurse. Didn’t he think he was putting people out of their misery?

    Germanin 1: You see, that’s it. People believed that. But I just finished reading that this guy did it because he wanted the attention. 

    Tommi: The attention?

    Germanin 2: Yeah. And there is a power a person like that has over a whole family. 

    Germanin 1: The people get sick and are made to think that the system will make them well, or at least make them healthy, and what happens? A nurse comes around who sees how these families react to the staff that work at these hospitals and thinks that he can do more than just help the sick. 

    Germanin 2: Can you believe that?

    Tommi: He’s nutbag. We have them all over the place in the US. There was this guy called Doctor Death. Kevorkian was his name. He got his kicks helping people die. 

    Germanin 2: Yes. I heard of him. But he was assisting people that wanted to die.

    Tommi: Oh yeah. I guess you’re right.

    Germanin 1: There is a big difference, you know. This guy was about power, I tell you. He was after something else. Something else. 

    Tommi: What something else?

    Germanin 1: It reminds of the power priests have. You know. The priest pedophiles. They have a power over the powerless, don’t they? 

    Germanin 2: And that’s where this guy was heading. He wanted to be powerful over others. 

    Tommi: Are you sure about that? Sounds like a just another nutbag to me. Remember those two guys in Germany a few years back when the one guy wanted to be eaten by the other? And it really happened? 

    Germanin 2: Yes. I remember that.

    Tommi: I mean, that really happened. Nutbags, I tell you.

    Full stop for now.

    Long story short. Three other people got up and left us. We thought they were refilling their plates with food. But they never returned. I wonder why. 

    Good conversation. 

    Rant on. -Tommi

  • Children Of The Sandbox

    Sandbox
    A sandbox is also a sandpit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandpit

    The image today is of an unlimited number of children playing in an unlimited sandbox. It used to be called a sandpit but that name had to be changed because of the minds that prefer mysticism over science, the irrational over reality, propaganda over fact. For you see, the word ‘pit’ is to reminiscent of the pits of hell, or the like. And so. It is, indeed, quite a large sandbox that we’re dealing with and truly reminiscent of things unwanted. It is also a very fancy sandbox. A sandbox of modern civilisation where the goings-on of humanity are centre stage of time, space, bodily secretions and nasty bedsheets. And what is it exactly that is going on in this sanbox? That’s right, dear worst-reader. In it are the children of today. And they play harmoniously, joyously and their lives are relevant and respected by all. Or? Maybe not. For we are believers in the mysticism, are we not? I know. Tommi’s worst-readers aren’t all as stupid as they look. All (three) of you know well enough that something else is going on in that sandbox but the bliss of ignorance is too great to combat–at least not as easy to combat as ISIL or ISIS or fighting that urge to eat… Nomatter. The point today in this worst-post is to try and figure out how we know that something else is going on in, around and underneath our sandbox. Does the bludgeoning (of nature) give it away? Does the regular beatings (of our environment) atop another child’s head with the green bucket give it away? And how ’bout the jamming of the pink shovel up the nose of johnny-come-lately where to repair the damage johnny’s entire skull must be put in a plaster cast to 1) hold his spongy brain in and 2) allow the fractured skull to repair itself. Yes. That’s the reality of the/our sandbox. The children in the form of money hungry, greedy (corporate) bastards ride the laurels of the past, have living standards at the expense of others and thereby occupy and bully the whole damn sandbox. One only need look at the behaviour of the children inside it. Or read about it here and here. And so. What better represents the truth of the sandbox we are all forced to live in these days than the reality behind using a hair dryer, filling up your car with petrol, pressing HI on your microwave, ruling the planet, etc.? I suppose one could also look at the banking industry and not just the energy industry–but where’s the fun in that? Do banks blow up in a mushroom cloud of flames and black smoke? Do we see nitty-gritty worker-bees struggling in their HAZMAT suits fending off toxins when banks fuck us over? No. Of course not. The energy industry, post technology boom of the nineties, has rum amok in the sandbox. And while Apple assumes the reign of corporate money terror over us all (and history) the has-beens of the boomer generation secure their ways & means. And no one really cares. The whole shebang passes us by even when it crashes into some rednecks house in god-knows-where W. VA. And redneck here or there complaining that an energy company blew up his house while his wife is in the hospital getting open heart surgery… None of that matters. Look at the plume of fire rising above the sweets ashes we live in.

    List of recent examples of how we play in the sandbox of life where the children beat the living krapp out of each other and the sandbox because of energy resources. This is only a list from 2010 up to a few days ago and only accidents that occurred in the US. I purposely left out all the sandbox accidents on the Canadian side of things but if you’re interesting in reading about those you’ll have to go through the whole train derailment list which is at the source hyperlinked below.

    • 30 September 2010 – United States – Two Canadian National ore trains collide head on twelve miles north of Two Harbors, Minnesota, injuring all five crew members.
    • 17 April 2011 – United States – A Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway train hauling 130-cars of coal from Wyoming to Chicago rear-ends another train hauling maintenance equipment near Red Oak, Iowa about 07.00 (local time) on Sunday 17 April 2011. The lead locomotive on the coal train derails and fire engulfs the cab. The crew of two, the conductor and engineer, on the coal train are killed. Ten cars on the maintenance train derail. The two crew members on the maintenance train are not injured. The line is heavily trafficked and is shut down for 24 hours, with trains re-routed. An investigation is conducted by the NTSB.
    • 7 October 2011 – United States – 26 cars of a 131-car freight train derail and explode near Tiskilwa in Bureau County, Illinois, approximately 160 kilometres (99 mi) west of Chicago. No injuries are reported; 800 people are evacuated.
    • 6 January 2012 – United States – Three CSX freight trains collide in a remote section of Porter County, Indiana resulting in a fire and possible HAZMAT situation. Two injuries are reported.
    • 1 February 2012 – United States – The Amtrak Wolverine train from Pontiac, Michigan to Chicago, carrying 71 passengers and 5 crew, strikes a stalled tractor trailer (carrying equipment for oil production) on tracks in Leoni Township, Michigan. The lead engine and at least two cars derail. There are no fatalities, and six people suffer non-life-threatening injuries, according to the Jackson Citizen Patriot and the Blackman-Leoni Public Safety Department.
    • 4 July 2012 – United States – A Union Pacific coal train heading to Wisconsin derails, collapsing an overpass on Shermer Road in Glenview, Illinois at about 13.45. A day later, a couple, having been crushed by the falling coal and cars, are found dead in their car buried beneath the rubble.
    • 11 July 2012 – United States – A Norfolk Southern train with 2 locomotives and 98 cars derails in Columbus, Ohio, near the Ohio State Fairgrounds at 02.05 CDT. The resulting explosion, caused in part due to the burning of 76,000 litres (17,000 imperial gallons) of ethanol, causes a mile-wide evacuation. At the time of the explosion, two nearby individuals are injured; they drive themselves to hospital.
    • 21 July 2012 – United States – A Kansas City Southern freight train collides with a BNSF coal train and derails in Barton County, MO, injuring two railway workers.
    • 21 August 2012 – United States – Two women celebrating the night before their return to university on a railway bridge die shortly after midnight when a CSX coal train derails on the bridge in downtown Ellicott City, Maryland, burying the women under coal.[145] The NTSB investigation attributed the probable cause of the derailment to a broken rail.
    • 29 October 2012 – United States – Thirteen cars of a 57-car Paducah & Louisville (P&L) freight train derail near West Point, Kentucky. A tank car loaded with butadiene leaked and later caught fire while workers were repairing the track. No deaths, 5 injured. On 31 October, the train derailment exploded at 13:30 causing evacuations to be ordered in a 2 kilometre radius and an 8 kilometre radius to stay indoors. 3 were seriously burned in the explosion.
    • 8 November 2013 – United States – A 90-car freight train carrying crude oil from the Bakken shale patch in North Dakota (possibly similar to the type carried in the July 2013 Lac-Mégantic derailment in Quebec, Canada), from Amory, Mississippi to a refinery in Walnut Hill, Florida, derails and explodes in the morning in Pickens County, Alabama (west AL); the flames, which shot upward 300 feet high, were left to burn themselves out, which may take up to 24 hours. There were no fatalities or injuries.
    • 30 December 2013 – United States – Casselton train derailment – Several grain cars from a westbound train derail and strike an eastbound train carrying crude oil on an adjoining track near Casselton, North Dakota. Several crude oil cars explode, resulting in large clouds of black smoke which forced an evacuation of the area. No casualties were reported.
    • 17 January 2014 – United States – A CSX train carrying coal derails near Dunnellon, Florida. Twelve cars of the 100-car train derailed in a rural area. The train was transporting the coal to the Duke Energy Crystal River Energy Complex. No injuries were reported.
    • 19 January 2014 – United States – A Union Pacific train carrying coal derails near Caledonia, Wisconsin. Nineteen cars of the 135-car train derailed. The cause is believed to be cracked rails caused by unusually cold winter conditions. No injuries were reported.
    • 20 January 2014 – United States – A CSX train carrying crude oil derails in Philladelphia, Pennsylvania. Seven cars of a 101-car train derailed on a bridge over the Schuylkill Expressway, causing the road to be shut down for brief periods of time as emergency crews drained the tankers. No injuries were reported.
    • 28 January 2014 – United States – A CSX train carrying phosphoric acid derails near McDavid, Florida. 23 of the 69 cars derailed, resulting in the destruction of the tracks and bridge over Fletcher Creek, and chemicals leaking into the water. No injuries were reported.
    • 30 January 2014 – United States – A NS train transporting 179 empty coal cars derailed near Jewell Ridge, Virginia. No injuries were reported, and the accident was cleared on the same day.
    • 31 January 2014 – United States – A CN train carrying crude oil, methane and liquid fertilizer derails near New Augusta, Mississippi. 18 to 24 cars of the 85-car train derailed and began leaking. The derailment occurred in a rural area, but resulted in 12 families being evacuated and four lanes of U.S. 98 closed as emergency responders began to clean up the spill. No injuries were reported.
    • 30 April 2014 – United States – CSX derailment: 15 tankers carrying crude oil derail and catch fire in Lynchburg, Virginia, striking fears of water contamination in the local area and beyond.
    • 1 May 2014 – United States – CSX coal train derailed three locomotives and 10 cars in Bowie, MD.
    • 10 May 2014 – United States – a train traveling in Colorado derails and spills 6,500 US gallons (25,000 l; 5,400 imp gal) of oil west of LaSalle, Colorado.
    • 5 October 2014 – United States – a Union Pacific freight train slams into a lowboy trailer in Mer Rouge, LA, seriously injuring both railroad crew and causing two engines along with 17 cars to derail. 50 homes are evacuated for about two hours due to the leakage of argon gas from the tank car.
    • 16 February – United States – A CSX freight train derails in West Virginia. At least 7 tank cars catch fire, with over 60 people evacuated from their homes nearby.

    List source here.

    Another link here worth reading on the subject, maybe.

    Good luck suckers.

    Rant on. -Tommi

  • Feminism vs Emancipation

    eat cherries
    “You can leave your hat on.” -Randy Newman

    Today a few thoughts on another movie (Fifty Shades of Grey) I won’t see. This post is NSFW. Or maybe not. Good luck.

    Every generation has to have its own mainstream how-to fuck film. I say mainstream because the porn industry isn’t really a how-to fuck industry, although that’s probably a shame on account it does provide a lot of obviously needed information on The Carnal. (Seriously. Where would #americant be without porn? Childless? Fewer lost boys? Women walking around with donut glaze on their faces? Etc.) But then the question becomes: since so much porn is being consumed why is it that most young people still don’t know how to fuck and thereby, for all practical purposes, require how-to films? Could the answer have anything to do with misconstrued morality? Puritanical shame? Or how ’bout this:

    Romantic-love should die?

    Indeed, dear worst-reader. The reality is, romantic-love has run its course and it’s time to move on. Seriously. It would help humanity a great deal. Just drop it. Get rid of it. Be done!

    That said. I have nothing against romance (and sex) as a transaction–which is all love is these days as defined by its culmination: marriage. But I do have a problem with going against nature. And. Fucking is nature. Making love is… anti nature. Or maybe not.

    Which brings me to this part of this attempt at opening a can of worms: What’s with the debate on marriage rights? You know. We shouldn’t be debating whether or not one group can marry and another can’t. What we should be doing is getting rid of the institution of marriage outright. Obviously, in the wake of the past hundred or so years, as an institution, it is an utter failure. Get ride of it. By doing so, we can kill two birds with one stone. Offing marriage’s head could finally save the children. It could also save females from themselves. Be done!

    Oh yeah. I was worst-writing about romantic-love in the context of feminism vs emancipation vs porn all motivated by silly films. Wait. Or was I…? Nomatter. The how-to fuck film of my day was called 9 1/2 Weeks. A silly bourgeois cinematic romp where a female couldn’t decide what to do with the confusion that arises between (her) biology and the inevitability of husband hunting–which often gets confused when the libido takes the first step off the cliff (great job Kim Basinger). And when I think back on that movie the only thing I can remember is the confused look on my then girlfriend’s face regarding her puritanical upbringing juxtaposed with being raised in the wake of 1960s flower-power and being fed cherries on the kitchen floor while wearing fancy pyjamas (or the like).

    Did you know that romantic-love has no purpose? It used to have a purpose. Back in the day when Das Volk loved feudalism, birth entitlement, aristocracy, monarchs. Oh wait. We still live in those times. Nomatter (again.) Something about getting daughters from wealthy houses to marry into other wealthy houses where the groom wasn’t the best match or vice-versa was the only way to play the patriarchs game. Today that game is the same but played in the vein of the same-difference. Marriage, and by default romantic-love, as an institution, still provides the patriarch rulers the mother teat. And he sucks joyously upon it. So go and fight about your silly marriage vows. When you give-in to institutions it doesn’t matter what you suck on. Doom is neigh.

    Ok. I’m confused. And I’m way off subject. The subject is how-to fuck films and why they are so stupid. It has nothing to do with porn and exploitation as Chris Hedges so rightfully points out (see link below). What it is about is what Mr. Hedges misses. The reality is how-to fuck films are about something much deeper. They are about the mindset of the indoctrinated human female who is either Barbie or August Ames*. The confusion the female, the child bearer, the mother faces today, now that porn is mainstream, must be horrendous. Yet so few females voice anything above and beyond what they themselves have trivialised by exploiting romantic-love which can only lead to the transaction of marriage which ultimately leads to the mass silliness we have today–half of which all end in expensive and child ruining divorce. And so. Maybe there needs to be an alternative to the fiction that we are forced to make real that is romantic-love and maybe that alternative is buried deep in the subtext of how-to fuck films. Or maybe not. Whatever.

    And on a side note. Even though worst-writer doesn’t believe in much, you know, as in gods and mysticism, there is something in me that does believe in nature which means that there is a slight thought or three regarding the validity and/or possibility of reincarnation which in-turn makes me shudder at the thought that I could come back as a female. Aghast!porn cheap

    Links:

    Chris Hedges: ‘Pornography Is What the End of the World Looks Like’ – Chris Hedges – Truthdig.

    Oh Look! People Are Going To See It Because They Don’t Know How To… | HuffPost

    Rant on. -Tommi

    *For kicks I googled something like “popular porn star” and her name came up. Seriously. I’ve never heard of her or seen her before. Really. Wow.

  • How To Firmware

    Note: this is NOT an advert. Could careless which product you buy. Moving on. ¶Wouldn’t you know it. Wait for the right moment and it never comes. Unexpect that moment and it does come. Recent debacle with planetary über-corporation Samsung lead to a firmware update (almost) debacle. As worst-stated in this post, Samsung’s IT Volk need to seriously reconsider how they update their printers. In short, Samsung thinks that in order to update a printer you must first have a windows PC, preferably something XP or better. If you don’t have a WinXP device then you are shit out of luck or you have to get your silly new-school ass to some rinky-dink retailer’s support window so they can do the update for you. Luckily I’m as resourceful if not more resourceful than the global IT Volk at Samsung–and I happened to know someone who could lend me an old WinXP device so that I could update the printer myself. (It was actually kinda cool cause the situation gave me a chance to look over a laptop that still had a serial port on it. ;-)) The problem is, Samsung’s IT Volk seem to think you have to update their products with a .exe file. To prove that that’s not the case, I just did a firmware update for my new DSL modem from D-Link. All I had to do was download the firmware update, which is in a .zip file, unpack it, read the “how-to” .pdf file, then access the update file, which is a .rar file, using any browser and… Boom baby! Update done. And it was done using a 2010 MacBook Pro running Snow Leopard (cause SL is the way I roll). ¶And so. You see goliath Samsung. It’s totally do-able. Bet you guys did’t know that. Now go learn something and update the outdated innards of your IT departments and your laser printers. Rant on. -t

  • Go Away All

    Compulsive Behaviour: doing something to the point of an obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or other condition leading to self mutilating behaviour.

    Yeah. I’m a fuddy-duddy. I stopped laughing at Jon Stewart years ago. I might have even lost touch with comedy on account I hate comedy that only nit-picks, makes fun and relies solely on parody. (Which is why I prefer Bill Maher when it comes to making fun of the idiocy of #americant politics.) Or, maybe, I lost touch with comedy because I’ve gone native in the #eurowasteland borough of Germania. I mean, you know what they say about Europe? The Italians make things pretty and useless, the French make things taste good but ugly and the British will never accept the fact that they squandered their empire and… And… The Germans have Ordnung. Or something like that.

    Two things have happened this week worth briefly worst-chronicling, dear worst-reader. First, the Brian Williams saga, which I mentioned here last night. Second, Jon Stewart announced that he’s been bored out of his mind for the past decade or so playing the Shakespearean Fool. Wait. Or is it his audience that’s been playing the fool? Nay. It’s probably a little bit of both. Nomatter. What’s clear is both these men are a dime a dozen and it would be a great thing if, by their departure from the rat race, a new consciousness emerges regarding the rotting soul that is an ongoing fail-upwards experiment.

    What Jon Stewart fails to realise in his pseudo-defence of Brian Williams is that the lie Williams told isn’t the issue. “Media hypocrisy” or “infotainment confusion syndrome” isn’t the issue either–although both are very fitting contextual buzzwords. The issue here, dear worst-reader–and listen very closely to this as your inner ear speaks what you read–is the compulsive behaviourism that is the foundation of the FUFCS of America–fail upward fascist corporate society. Hence we live in a world of unoriginality galore. Which means, in the parlay of the The Dream, making fun of stuff can also be an industry. And so. Unfortunately. The whole idear of parodying politics is nothing new. I was introduced to the krapp when I moved to #eurowasteland a quarter century ago. (The French are the best at it, btw.) Which also means, like most #americants today, Stewart didn’t create anything by starting The Daily Show. What he did create, though, and I mean this sincerely, is a venue where an already lost, written-off generation can laugh at the misery it has done to itself.

    What’s more important to think about here is the irony of Stewart announcing his departure and at the same time Brian Williams is facing the wrath of his fellow corporatists who smell the blood sewn by scrapping the walls of hell to get to the top. In other words. The only reason Brian Williams and ALL others working in the media are where they are today is not based on merit. That is how/why a fib can be turned into a federal case. In fact, anyone today who makes even a half decent living working for a corporation is where they are NOT because of merit. The reason for it is the automaton corporate state we have created and live for without questioning it. And. No. Laughing at it ain’t questioning the system. Indeed. You have to have a people that will go along with this game. What an astonishing thought–if you think about it. Hence everything–EVERYTHING–has a dollar value. Material is the only way of showing if you can cope with your environment. Cronyism is how you get to scrape them walls of hell. And. Jon Stewart makes you laugh at it–at yourself!

    So. Once again. Because of parody, because of squeezing out another giggle, America can keep sweeping its ugly truths under the carpet and Jon Stewart can finally sit back and watch the keystone cop future that is The Dream wither away into the sunset of milking an empty cow. Either that or he can take the millions he has earned from causing minions to laugh so hard they forget where their standing and go off to Hollywood and produce movies. Ain’t that his plan? Ain’t that everyone’s plan? Yeah. He was on the air for (insert number of years) and faux newz is still alive and kicking. And. The next Brian Williams is waiting in the wings with his lies, frothing at the mouth. Go careerists of nothingness. Go. Go Away. All of you.

    Links:

    Diagnosis Of What Is Wrong–Not. | HuffPost

    Let The Funnies Cover The Lying Forever | BuzzFeed

    Another Article That Is The Same As The Two Above | TheDailyBeast

    Update link: Maybe, Just Maybe, Here’s A Different Article | Crooks & Liars

    Rant on. -Tommi

  • Skittles Is Newspeak

    Another fantastic piece of journalism? Indeed. And it doesn’t matter that mindless television spectacle should remind people of the last efforts to stall the fall of the Roman empire. You know, like they did with those coliseum games way back when. Just watch the vid, dear worst-reader. Three issues of #americant neo-fascism and corporatism are addressed.

    1. Wife beating
    2. Controlling history
    3. Newspeak

    Even though the corporation (NFL) behind the television spectacle claim to be against wife beating their only effort in combating it is a bit of commercial air-time with a so-called PSA. That we are presented with a corporation taking responsibility for this dire issue is absurd. There should be adequate laws, if not a constitutional amendment not just protecting but also empowering women. Now. How many jokes have been made in the fraternity halls of #americant about women using the code of ordering pizza when they dial 911 to get help?

    The days leading up to the game were full of news about a guy from Oakland named Marshawn. Once again the corporation (NFL) was able to extract a character from their story that millions upon millions could identify with. Or did they, perhaps, extract the wrong character? I’ll let others be the judge of that. But here’s what got under worst-writer’s skin. If you haven’t seen it, check out Marshawn’s Skittles promo. The moment I saw that and then listened to him rebel against corporate authority–by finding a brilliant way to not break his contract and still “talk” to the press–I thought of Trayvon Martin. Wasn’t Trayvon getting Skittles when he was shot by a wannabe-nazi for 1) wearing a hoody, 2) not taking any shit from wannabe-nazi, 3) and telling wannabe-nazi to f-off? Then comes the speculation (from journalist in vid, not mine) that the corporation (NFL) punished Marshawn for his rebellious ways by telling the Seahawks coach not to make him a hero at the end of the game. Yeah, talk about controlling history.

    What does the voice of corporatism say? Here a few examples of what it says: Hits to defenceless players; Unnecessary risk; Concussions were down twenty-five percent.Well, as we see in the vid above, the last portion of it featuring the corporations spokesmen, aka the CEO, it speaks in the voice of well positioned PSA’s, contracts for controlling minions and blood letting. Indeed. It says what it knows Das Volk needs to hear. Sometimes the voice uses big words and sometimes it uses fancy words, not that there’s much of a difference between the two for those who can’t understand anyway. In defending what is truly a lust for violence–which the corporation (NFL) knows is all its audiences wants to consume and provides it the foundation for such outrageous profits–it exudes both interest and compassion as though it really cares. Yeah, right. We know what it really cares about. And so. Will the NFL simply outlaw helmet spearing? How about shortening the regular season back down to ten games? How about providing players with medical care after they retire? Oh well. When you’re the authority and you have the power to determine when the sun rises, newspeak is the least of your problems.

    Rant on.

    -Tommi-

  • Just Living The Dream, Dude

    Seriously. Don’t know what everyone is so giddy about. But then again I reckon waking up is hard to do when you live both in the intoxication and the hangover. Indeed. Such is life. And so. Whether one is facing the demise of her/his dreams or the reality of seeds (obviously everyone has) sown, what is left to be done? Well, nothing is left to be done. Because. The enablers of these dire straits must first die out. That is, the baby boomers, the progeny of the so-called greatest generation, must first pass on. And that will take some time. I suppose, if one would consider the cognitive capabilities of humanity, that something political could take place to at least alleviate some of the suffering, then maybe something could be done. Enter the TPP. Enter… and that damn ship of hope has sailed. Nomatter. Enter the TPP. You really got to hand to those Boomers. They came up with a few great idears to continue on with what their parents passed on to them in the form of politically changing the goal post/rules in the middle of the game. As the few & far between contemplate their impending demise in the form of consume to survive, politics like the TPP will thrive. And so. The sowers of the seeds remain clueless. Go buy something with your credit card. You’ll feel better. Yeah, baby. Rant on. -Tommi

    The Death Of The American Dream In 22 Numbers.

    Fast Track To Nowhere Is Right Behind Us.

  • Side Of The Trade

    greeceCuriosity has hit this Ausländer a wee bit more than usual since Jan 1. The beginning of 2015 has offered up a lot to consider. First, the Swiss unpegged their precious Franc from the Euro. Second, East Germans, most of which were educated under the auspices of Margot Honecker, presented their intellect in the form of Pigeda. Third, the hardcore world of satire got its ass slaughtered. And so. The Euro might be under fire. Former East-Germans have come out of their third-grade closets. And the most shocking of all, a bunch of cartoonists were murdered because of pictures they drew. Wow. And now you know why I call it #eurowasteland. Indeed, dear worst-reader, much ado about everything.

    Let’s move on to two other things that we can take with us for the rest of 2015. The first is the recent Greek election. The second is the reaction to that election by the uninformed. Or should I say the misguided? No. Wait. Americans aren’t any of those things. But then again, if you keep up with US news, like I do, then it should be no surprise how Americans have not reacted to the Greece election. There was so little coverage of the recent event in the American press (at least there was little coverage on the front pages) that I almost gave up on the issue. But then I came across an article (see below) on the subject from one of my favourite liberal websites. After reading it I realised that liberals do have good intentions. They also sure do know how to miss the boat in style.

    I was indeed relieved that someone in my home country decided to take on the issue of the Greek election but by the third paragraph I was reaching for an exit in the form of my very expensive full automatic espresso machine (caffeine buzz), the magic scarf that I’ve learned to wear around my neck between the months of August and April (Euro weather comfort) and my passport because I thought it time to take a flight home to help my fellow #americants get informed. Then I took a deep breath, swallowed my espresso with my pinky hanging high and adjusted my scarf. Comfort in the horror of Cologne, Germany, winter amid lots of worst-writing. I gathered my-worst-self and reached for my worst-writing equipment. Lo and behold. Have no fear #americant. Worstwriter is here!

    Let’s try and recap a bit, shall we? The Greek elections were on Sunday. A pseudo communist, aka modern socialist, left-wing party won the election by what can be considered a landslide. By Monday morning this new Greek government had a photo-op visiting a grave where two hundred Greeks were killed by Nazis–because that’s what Greek communists do when they win elections. Beyond all that the only other stuff being talked about was Austerity and the euro-crisis. But here’s the thing. Mark my words. This election will be forgotten soon enough. The only thing that will be remembered is the Greek obsession with Nazis and how the Anglo portion of the western world has probably failed in its bid to undermine the Euro through the vanity of the Greek oligarchs. Ok. Wait. Maybe painting a Hitler mustache on Merkel will be remembered. Personally, I think the Greeks should start posting those old east German nudist beach photos of Merkel. Yeah. She was hot back then–in an east German fräulein kinda way.

    Ok. Here’s the other thing I wanted to worst-write about tonight. I have been living in #eurowasteland as an Ausländer for twenty-five years. I have worked and traveled throughout the “continent”. Even though I’ve only worked briefly in Athens (project work), I have worked extensively in Spain, Italy, Holland, Sweden, England and, of course, Germany. If you ask me what I think of Europe I will tell you toot-sweet that it is the origin of all that’s wrong in the modern world. Whether talking about government or krappy, ornery, rude people, if you want to know where modern human evil is rooted–look no further than #eurowasteland. That said, if you really believe that Germany is responsible for Greece’s problems, well, maybe it’s time to reconsider.

    So let’s get a few basics straight, shall we? Greek problems are not from Austerity. Greek problems are not from the last five, six or seven years. Greek problems are not because of… Well, let me quote a part of the article that motivated this post.

    “Perhaps the best way to understand what Syriza (the new Greek govt.) represents is to recognize the forces aligned in opposition, nothing less than the major European and international governing institutions of contemporary globalized finance. These are the International Monetary Fund, the European Central Bank and the German government (as the dominant player in the European Union), collectively known as the ‘Troika.’” (See link below for source.)

    So. Bear with me. I’m still getting a few things straight. The guy who wrote the above text is not telling it like it is. Although for the most part his article is well written and accurate, he is telling the Greek part like someone told him how to tell it. Namely, that the Germans and the ECB are the reason the Greeks are in such trouble. It might be true that the IMF is part of the problem. But the IMF does not answer to Germany or the ECB as much as it answers to big banks. Yeah. Big banks.

    Let me try to put it another worst-way before I get accused (by one of three readers) of taking something out of context. The financial problem Greece is having today is nothing new. Greece has had many, many years to deal with this but instead has found ways to weasel out. All one has to do is go back to the European Stability and Growth Pact of the late 90s. Greece has never abided by this pact. (In fact, Spain and Italy–the countries that are next on the downfall list–haven’t abided by this pact either.) Which raises the question: If Greece hasn’t abided by this pact, how have they been able to get away with it for so long? The answer to that is and isn’t easy.

    First. Who wants the Euro to fail? Remember, #eurowasteland is the largest economic entity there is. It trumps the US by quite a large sum. That also means that #eurowasteland is a desired trading partner for not only the US but also the world. The only one to profit from the Euro failing would be private banks.

    Second. When Greece took on the Euro it agreed to do things like manage its national debt, i.e. The Stability and Growth Pact (which is actually a treaty). Quickly after signing it, Greece decided that it didn’t want to manage its debt because that would mean living within its own means and also justifying its meritless high living standards. And get this. I can tell you first hand. I travel to some nice places two or three times a year. I never book Greece. Why? Greece is stupidly overpriced. Of course, most of #eurowasteland is overpriced because everybody lives in/for the past and most live in meritless high standards. The question then is, who can afford those standards? Seriously. You don’t get much bang for your travel buck in Greece.

    The not-so-easy part of all this is that the recent election will end up being either a sad joke or further insult to Greek young people that have already been robbed of a future. What is clear so far is that the naive and angry Greeks really do believe that there is an enemy out to get them. What they don’t know or aren’t willing to see is who that enemy really is. On top of that, the world of finance isn’t willing to play with their debt lies anymore–hence blame the ECB and the Germans and don’t think twice about what Goldman Sachs did with the previous bailout money.

    Greece, like a junky at a Vegas gambling table, has run out of sugar-daddies. So what do they do? Oh yeah. They have an election and then immediately visit a grave site where Nazis killed two hundred Greeks in 1944. Will that change their debt problems? Greece, like (monarchy) Spain and (über mafia) Italy, is its own worst financial enemy. Hence when Greece was first bailed out (in 2010?) they were stupid enough to let their oligarchs horde/steal the cash or Wall Street gamble with it. That is, Greece allowed Wall Street (Goldman Sachs) to continue gambling with bail out money in the form of Greek bonds, Greek derivatives and whatever other fancy-pants finance trickery they can come up with to prop-up the books. And the money did flow. And the Greeks don’t know an iota (pun intended) about where that money went. But a good worst-guess is that in such a corrupt, old-money society, where the past never dies, a few oligarchs have secured a future of luxury for one or three Greek grandchildren.

    In the after math of this historic election, the only issue that need be governed is who is on what side of the Greek prop-up trades and who will pay for them? By the looks of it, the Germans are not on the wrong side of these trades because in the end the money Greece has already received (and gambled away) comes out of all of #eurowasteland coffers. For the Germans it’s a drop in the bucket. So. Nazi here or there, the reality is Greece has to pony-up sooner or later for its anti-euro behaviour and its meritless living standard. And here’s where we get into a bit of deep and serious irony. The Greeks just elected a socialist government. Why would they provoke the somewhat more socialist side of the western world’s capitalist pseudo-democracies, i.e. the Germans, by playing the irrational Nazi card? You would think that as soon as one hears that the most successful bailed out bank on Wall Street was part of hiding Greek debt (Goldman Sachs), that the Greek presses would stop. But the presses never stop where (old) men are ruled by (even older) men (and their old money) and not laws.

    I wish the founders of democracy all the best. I also hope the young people with ruined futures will be able to make the best of it.

    Link that motivated this post:

    An Author At truthdig Almost Gets It Right | truthdig.com

    Good luck. Rant on.

    -Tommi

  • Twice As Much

    Worst-thought of the day on how the world really works. A fairy appears to a worker-bee of the western world while that worker-bee is taking a break in his cubicle and dreaming of a better life. The fairy says: I will do anything for you that you want but remember whatever I do for you I will do for your neighbour twice as much. The worker-bee thinks for a minute, actually taking the time to put aside the meaningless compulsion he has been told is (his) work. He then takes a drink from his empty cup of java and wonders how long before his usurper starts charging him for it. Then he takes a deep breath and says: Ok. How ’bout this? Take one of my eyes. -Rant on.

  • The Slime Ball Cometh

    Oh my. Unbelievable. Only in #americant, baby. In my post Barrel of Fun I had a few not so flattering words to share with worst-readers everywhere about Mitt Romney. And if I may toot my own horn, I rather like the post, especially the part where I wax philosophical on what Romney’s father did to create such a clueless albeit money hungry human. Now that Mitt is “considering” running for prez a third time I can’t help but worst-wonder more & more about Das Volk and their (in)ability to keep the cogs of democracy churning. I mean, are you serious Mitt? A third go at something that is obviously even beyond your purchasing power? Oh well. It never ceases to amaze me how the greatest nation-state experiment in human history has fully succumbed to collective mindlessness and intellect made of jell-o farts. Or something like that. Rant on.

    Romney Hints At 2016 Run In Speech To RNC.

  • Get A Grip On Your Monsters

    Never forget the moment right after #americant started bombing Afghanistan in 2001 when the Taliban leadership went on the telly and called my grand united mistakes a bully. There was also a time (in the not so distant past) when a simpleton named Rodney King got caught up in the severity of being a simpleton and thereby thought he could mix wits with the simpletons of the LAPD but instead got his ass bullied by a bunch of angry white men who are sanctioned by the state to hit people and/or shoot them. And what about that weekend-warrior-like dude, another simpleton, albeit one named John Pike, who had a belly that only matches mine, yet he gets to dress up in government funded riot gear (on those weekend-like outings) and thereby spray peaceful protesting students in the face with pepper spray because they want to say something about the world that rules their useless eating lives? And then there’s the recent government sanctioned endeavour by another one of our “finest”, a policeman in the form of a pointy eared druid-like living corpse who is allowed to shoot a man because that man would not obey his silly attempt at usurping a ghetto neighbourhood as though he were one of the local king’s henchmen. And although the list could go on and on, this brings me to our final bully for this post, dear worst-reader. Its name? Carmen Ortiz. This bully, along with all the others mentioned here, is an example of the dysfunctional #americant machine’s obsession with authority, control and running-amok for the sake of the few & far between–and all in the name of something righteous. If these people don’t provide you the message you need that #americant is out of control, then what will? I mean, the debt problem doesn’t phase anyone. Military spending doesn’t phase anyone. The nation’s basic infrastructure must be in great shape, too. And what about the cost of… Full Stop. Pause. Breath. With all that in mind. Let me move on. § Like most nation-states today, #americant is a centralised bureaucratic monstrosity that is kept in place and (dys)functioning by minions and automatons who all think/believe they are power-monger-rulers of (their own) little itty-bitty worlds. These minions and automatons do more than just work for the apparatus, dear worst-reader. They are, obviously, the mechanisms of a dysfunctional machine. And as I have most assuredly failed to say here, they all cannot differentiate between rational and reactionary thought. Which is pretty scary. And so. I’m very disappointed in the current head-honcho of all corporate and government automatons–Barry Obama. Why? Well. See links below and then… § Even though Aaron Schwartz was a victim of government over-reach and his case was nothing more than a “political” move on the part of a corpo-government monster, there is nothing to be done about it. Barry has said so. Indeed. We must live with the generations that are the mechanisms in the machine that is our monster. And there is one thing that connects all those listed here and all the other automatons out there: their behavior. Which then poses the question(s): How should one deal with that? How should one make their wrongs into rights? These people bomb when they feel like it. They beat people when they want to. They pepper spray because they know nothing better than the command that tells them to do so. And they also dress real nice for meetings and walk the same sidewalk you do. Way to go #americant. Where would we be without our bullies? Rant on. -Tommi

    Links:

    Obama won’t fire Aaron Swartz’s federal prosecutors | Ars Technica.

    After Two Year Wait White House Does Nothing For Wrongful Prosecution | Democracy Now

  • What Is Money #27

    Money? In most cases. You can’t really earn it anymore, you can only work for it. Or something like that. Rant on. -tgs-

  • How To Stop The Dominoes

    Have this behind me: the frustration felt during the wars-of-choice that have sent #americant into its current spiral of empire delusion? There are a few things that will always remain from those years. The first is the fact that the people who didn’t vote joined the ones who did vote and all elected Dubya (twice!) The price for this apathy will go unpaid for a long time. The next fact is that my beloved former home country is ruled by what is thought of as persons who went through the/a gauntlet of a compulsory collegiate education and hence are supposed to be, in some way, …cognitive? They are of a system where the ONLY gateway to material success and any sort of living standard is through the halls and doorways of for-profit-education. Indeed. Even though the college educated have been there before, it seems that today college educated persons are running the #americant empire to the ground. From the presidents cabinet to all the corporate minions and even the people’s official government gun-toters, the leaders are all of some collegiate institution accompanied by a variety of academic titles. And so. #americant college educated minions are proving their worth to empire–en masse. And. One of the best examples of the western world’s über-education-to-nowhere is the former army general that ran the most recent wars of choice that will probably never be paid for. This guy has a PhD and yet he should be known for nothing more than his sophomoric infantilism which has gotten him caught up in a scandal that should be underneath the uneducated poor man’s trailer park. But that won’t happen. For, how do you prosecute these minions without going after the human corruption of them all? Don’t let the dominoes fall. Rant on.

    U.S. Seeks Criminal Charges Against David Petraeus: Official.

    Why Isn’t This Man On Trial? | truthdig

  • As Time Doesn't Go By

    IMG_0850.PNG

    Two things this morn, dear worst-reader.

    1. There are the many who don’t know the Interwebnets.
    2. There are the few who don’t know the Interwebnet.

    Let’s begin w/ the first, shall we? As a consume-to-survivor I made a major end of the year purchase on 29.12.14. It took worst-moi a few weeks to finally make the product choice but get there I did. I broke down and w/ a bit of Xmas and birthday funding I bought a new-fangled SSD for my rockin’ home server and all-around do-greater, my MacPro5,1. For those not in the know here on what an SSD is; here for a MacPro5,1.

    As is the norm w/ most of today’s irrevocable consumption, choice is relative. That is, under the guise of “choice” we are made to believe that we can buy either A or B or C but in reality we can only buy A1 or A2 or A3. And that’s all fine & dandy. So. Once I made my “choice” there was that other hurdle to overcome in this, our new world order realm of digital delight: delivery time. This is where Amazon must join the ranks of one of those… don’t know the Interwebnets but thinks it does companies. Oh! Go the way of the dinosaur already sweet king-queen of digital shopping. And so.

    The product I wanted to buy had a delivery date, due to ambiguous supply issues, of two weeks. And then there was the product Amazon was pushing that could have been delivered overnight. Indeed. According to test reports there was little to differentiate the two products. The only real difference was a $15 price and around 15 GB of storage space. Oddly, the one with more space was also the one that was cheaper. But. Again. It had a delivery time of two weeks. Since these products were already marked down, I didn’t want the one that was just cheaper. I wanted a brand and the extra disk space. But two weeks delivery?! Come on Amazon! Nomatter.

    Worst-writer ordered the two week delivery–and in a way I did it both out of spite and stubbornness. Something inside me said that it’s not possible that Amazon requires two weeks delivery for a product like this. So what was up? In short, Amazon was pushing product A1 above A2, which is the one I wanted. How do I know this? Well, w/ in hours of my order I received an email that changed the delivery date of two weeks to two days. Which makes me question: how can it be that a company like Amazon, that is literally at the top of its game, push a product to a savvy customer that it must know knows better? The delivery date meant nothing to me. So why post a product with a delivery date that is obviously untrue and thereby give advantage to another product? Indeed. To a product I didn’t want anywho!

    Again. Nomatter. For I am both worst-tickled and worst-excited to get my consumption faster than it was advertised. Yet I can’t help but pity the likes of Amazon. As far as I’m concerned, Amazon joins the rest of companies that can be categorized along side many other companies that… just doesn’t get what the Interwebnets is all about. Amazon is actually not as sophisticated as I once thought it should be. That may or may not be due to its inability to control the shipping process. But that’s neither here nor there. Which brings me (again) to the pic above–a screenshot from a website of a German grocery store chain. While promoting a happy new year the company is also telling its audience that it is incapable of displaying its open & close times on its website (for New Years aka Silvester). You see, dear worst-writer, in centralized, pseudo-socialized Germania, working hours during holiday season is a bitch. Not only do the Teutonic hordes enthrall and engorge themselves w/ consumption but they must do so with reduced (shopping) hours which only adds to the already stretched nervous system of worker-automatons jilted to the point of mind-thought annihilation. Which means, we have a bit of a quagmire regarding how the corporate over-lords should be using the Interwebnets. Obviously.

    And so. Let us continue with the banality of everyday life that is a/our/the disease. I have provided these two examples today, dear worst-reader, of the grand digital over-lord Amazon and the not-so grand under-lord, Hit (another krappy German grocery retailer; and trust me, all retail chains in Germania are krappy!) in order that I may share first hand how my beloved Interwebnets is misunderstood. And mis-used! I mean, seriously, I can expect this krapp from Hit but not from Amazon.

    Firworks Of The Sense

    Unserer Öffnungszeiten an Silvester entnehmen Sie bitte dem Aushang ihrem Hit Markt

    To Our Offering

    Besides. The pic above wishes customers a Happy New Year and also commands that in order for worker-bees to find out what complicated business hours are available customers should first proceed to the individual stores where said hours will be posted–in analog. Wow! This, dear worst-reader, is how far the Interwebnet has come. They need (this) technology to do this krapp? To tell Das Volk to go to the store’s front door to get informed? Add to that Amazon’s inability to manage not so much the actual delivery process but more importantly the information pertaining to that process… Well. What can I/we say?

    With that in mind. Let’s end 2014 with this post. And. Let’s also end it with an idear: there truly is no progress. And. Thanks Amazon. Thanks also to all other companies that will forever remain in the comfort realm of amateur websites. For I am with you’all. As worst-writer is also forever destined to remain in the realm of the/a/our amateur(ism).

    Rant on.

    -Tommi

  • Hack-chu Gesundheit

    “If everyone doesn’t see this movie, the terrorists win.” -from a shameless Hollywood promotional article here.

    No. Seriously. This is a joke, right? I mean, this hack on Sony Pictures is a joke. If it’s not a joke, then it must be the weirdest promotion of a film ever. Right? (See link above.) Ok. If none of that is the case, then worst-writer is still gonna laugh his ass off about all this. Hi-larry-us doesn’t get much better, dear worst-reader. But let me move on now that I’ve wiped those laughing tears from my eyes. Sony is and has been a dinosaur corporation for as long as I can remember. What holds this company together is what holds all the world’s dinosaur companies together: the collusion of government and capital. If this company, like so many other companies, was left to compete in a free market, it would be long gone. The simple truth is, going back to the 1980s when Sony did its best to maintain a hold on its business, during a period when the Asian Tigers were on the march, it panicked. And I’ll go as far as to say that it never stopped panicking. Part of that panic was to diversify into things that ran counter to that which made it such a great post war company. Sony’s greatness came out of its unique and quintessentially Japanese culture. Unlike American and some (but not most) European companies, Japanese culture simply doesn’t adapt well to the Western mindset. Say what you will about the militant, stoic persona of the Japanese–and their history says enough about them as well. But when Sony, in its panic, diversified the way it did, it lost something that made it unique. Obviously Japanese ur-culture doesn’t mix well with speculative and manipulative minds that are in real-estate development, Hollywood studios and the insurance business. (Btw, insurance is one of Sony Corporations only profitable units today.) And so. What we are dealing with, dear worst-reader, is nothing more than a silly computer hack of a dysfunctional corporation–that can’t find a way to die. Plus this sort of hacking is starting to be grand trend. A gambling casino mogul was also hacked recently. And to be really, really honest. These hacks–like all hacks–reveal nothing more than what most rational, skeptical people already know–except, of course, without all the gritty details. Let the banality hack-gameshow begin. Now. Time to get back to tear-ridden laughter. Rant on.

    Sheldon Adelson Hacked | Bloomberg Businessweek

    Try To Disrupt The Downloads. Good luck! | re/code

    Beg For Your Privacy | Gizmodo

    Grovelling Weeny Gets Out Threatening Lawyers | Washington Post

  • Comedy, Ether and Cosby

    mask comedy

    Subtitle: The Opposite of Comedy Is Sexual Repression

    There’s this thing about comedy that has lingered with me for a long time. I’ve often wasted a thought or three trying to figure out what it is. With some recent realizations/rationalisations, there might be worst-progress. For example. Is there something behind comedy? You know, something more than just laughter? Well, dear worst-reader, I hate to disappoint you. The answer is: there is not. I’ve reached this conclusion 1) because of the political satire shows on US television and 2) the recent inhuman and male debacle that Bill Cosby exemplifies. First. Let’s have a worst-glance at the political shows.

    Believe it or not, shows like The Daily Show have supplanted real news in my beloved & missed #Americant. And that is worrisome. But here’s what really gets me about these shows and subsequently the(ir) comedy. What happens to comedy when the laughter is over? After the first few Daily Shows, which ultimately only mimicks European political satire, I thought: Ok; now what? In other worst-words, it bothers me that if I hear something funny and I know the humour was derived out of something profound, once the laughing stops, what happens to the profundity? (Wait. Forget that fact that such a question doesn’t even make sense.) I have to admit, the only comedy that has ever stayed with me is the stuff from George Carlin and Bill Hicks. Which brings me to the academia of the word “comedy”. Old Greek plays were called comedies yet they weren’t exactly funny. Ok. Nomatter. I won’t bore you with my lack of etymological knowledge. A better source for that is here. I guess what I’m not getting at is the idear that I think we need to find a new word for comedy. Or at least find a better word for the stuff that makes us laugh–that is also meaningless. Or maybe not. Either way, something gets lost in the world of comedy. I think that’s a shame. Moving on.

    The second thing I want to cover today, dear worst-reader, is Bill Cosby. And how about a little bit of praise to get us started. I mean, I kinda grew-up with the man. I remember I Spy, The Bill Cosby Show and even various appearances on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And then there’s Fat Albert. Fat Albert was the only show on US television in the 1970s that represented more or less exactly what I saw in the hell of suburban #ameircant along side with public schooling. Even though I never really liked his comedy–I preferred George Carlin, Richard Pryor and eventually Bill Hicks–I admired the simple fact that Cosby refused to resort to what was then termed “dirty language” just to get a laugh. Heck, even Eddie Murphy made fun of Cosby when Cosby tried to question Murphy’s use of language. But that’s neither here nor there. I mean. What the fcuk! That said. By the time the 1980s came around and his infamous The Cosby Show, Cosby was long lost to me. Again. Once the joke has been heard, the laugh is over, what’s left? I guess, for Cosby, like so many other Hollywood careerists, you gotta find a wave to ride on. Which Cosby obviously did. But there was something seriously disingenuous about The Cosby Show. That show truly gave me the creeps simply because it was so unreal. And I don’t mean it was unreal because of the race issue. That level of family life was just waaaaaaay out of touch, man. Again. Waaaaaaay to much. Indeed, dear worst-reader, it’s obviously not hard to put the lie of the #Americant dream in the boob-tube. This is proven by the wave of animated shows like The Simpsons and South Park–that only emulate what Cosby did and what All In The Family did before that. And so. For worst-moi, two questions remain: 1) Is there something more to comedy and 2) if there is something more does it have more redeemable value?

    Speaking of value. (Or was I speaking of profundity?) Isn’t Bill Cosby one of the first TV producers to earn something like a billion dollars for a TV show? (Seinfeld being the second?) The thing about Cosby is this, as successful as The Cosby Show was–and it was very, very financially successful–I hate anything that propagates a lie. And here’s where I have to return to the idear that we need to find a new word for people who make a living being funny. Because humour, more than ever, is now based on a situation (aka situation comedy) that is no longer (intrinsically) funny. Is it possible that the modern industrial world is suffering from a kind of comedy burnout? (Or maybe I’ve just heard to much of it.) So I guess there’s a reason that comedy no longer has anything profound to say–but enough profitability to make fun (of everything). For one thing, turning something profound into something comedic probably takes a bit more effort–at the least it diminishes the issue at hand. Political satire shows, including family sitcoms–especially since the likes of All In The Family is inherently political–need to stop hiding their politics. I suppose that’s why, perhaps, they’ve all become something akin to slapstick. Indeed. Conservatism ain’t funny, eh! Or. Perhaps they would be just as good if put in silent picture mode. But don’t get me wrong. To me it’s rather transparent that most comedy is highly intelligent–it’s just not an intelligence that wants/needs to make people smarter–it only need to make money. Take the likes of CK Louis or Louis CK. Whatever his name is. Talk about products of an assembly line of comedy, don’t you know. What a waste of brain power, too. He’s like a one after the other comedian. For if, when, he falls, he need not be replaced because, well, there are thousands others waiting in the wings–just like him. Does this remind anyone (worst-reader) of what became of pop-music? Anywho. That’s why Bill Hicks is on my list of great comics? The assembly line hasn’t replaced him yet. Am I wrong. (Btw, here’s a list of comics that is kind of mind-boggling.)

    And so. Once the joke is over, once you’ve stopped laughing, everything the comedian said fades into the ether. Unless, of course, said comedian can break thru the/his/her veneer. Again. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying in any way to promote my bitterness (about life) by just hacking away at great and financially successful person(as). One thing I’ve learned having failed as a writer is to respect those that pull it or anything off that entertains people. Great comedians, to me, are writers, dear worst-reader, but they are also writers whose work, due to chosen circumstance, sadly gets lost in the ether (of giggles galore). And for that I’m kinda sorry. Luckily I have a few examples of comedians that were able to break thru the ether. Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks and my all time favourite George Carlin. To me, these writers… sorry. These comedians have been able to break thru that ether. And here’s the kicker of this worst-post. Bill Cosby, even though I don’t want to do it, must also be put on a great ether breaking list. The reason for that has nothing to do with his comedy, though. It has to do with the fact that this man is the embodiment of generations of sexually repressed American males who can only giggle but never really, truly laugh. And even though there is obviously nothing funny about Cosby’s demise, give credit where credit is due. At least, maybe, someone, somewhere, will learn something profound from Bill Cosby.

    Rant on.

    -T